TV

TV Comedy “The Carmens” about three different Latinas, a  Mexican, a Puerto Rican and a Cuban, who all share the same name…and eventually… come to share an amazing friendship.

Story by: Dale Mattson

Script by: Sara Ledesma

INT. CARMEN AYALA’S HOUSE. MORNING.
In sharp contrast to the quiet, distinguished household we
just left, we open to a cacophonous sound track of hip-hop
music blaring, the TV playing, fan whirling, and noise from
the street below wafting in through an open window. Puerto
Rican CARMEN AYALA is a sexy, bold, impetuous young woman
with a coke bottle figure. A figure she accentuates with
tight clothes and plunging necklines. We see her in front of
the bathroom window with a colorful array of beauty tools:
lipstick tubes, curling iron, hair sprays and gels, eye
shadows, eyeliners and much, more.
The phone rings

CARMEN A.
Curling her hair with one hand and reaching across the
bathroom sink for her cell with the other. She puts the phone
to her ear, almost burning herself in the process.
(To herself)
Shit!

CLOSE UP ON:
The screen of the cell phone. We see a pic of the caller
appear. He is a buff, handsome man with manicured eyebrows.

LUIS ANGEL is Carmen’s BFF.
Sup, Babe?
(Beat)
Nah, not tonight. Afraid you’ll
have to fly solo. Got plans
already.
(A few beats)
Wedding. You know I love me a big,
loud, Mexican wedding. They party
almost as hard as us Boriquas. And
the food: as hot ‘n spicy as the
men.
(Beat)
Don’t hate cuz you’re jealous. If I
see a hot one and he’s your stilo,
I’ll grab you the number.
(Beat)
Please, like you need to tell me.
No high-pitched, whiny, drama
queens.
(MORE)
You like guys like you: up for
anything, in-shape, waxed, smelling
good, that have something going on
in their life.
(Beat)
Thought you knew to never
underestimate.
Late.

Tossing the phone aside, she returns to the business at hand.

INT. MORNING. CARMEN COLLINS’ HOUSE.
U2 plays faintly in the background of the organized, welldecorated
middle class home of Cuban American CARMEN COLLINS
and her Irish American husband CARTER. Carmen is a lightskinned
Latina with expensive blonde high-lights, impeccable
fashion sense, and no trace of an accent. In contrast to the
house we just left, the furniture and fixtures of this home
seem more for display than for comfort or function. As we
open, Carmen puts on earrings while conversing with Carter
who is watching ESPN.

CARMEN C.
We don’t have to stay long. I just
want to make an appearance and
offer my congratulations. Do these
look alright?
(Not waiting for an answer she goes into her closet to select
a pair of shoes)

CARTER
(Keeping his eyes on the
TV screen)
Whatever Hon. I have some work I
wanted to get to later.

CARMEN C.
Emerging from the closet with expensive shoe wear
I would’ve liked to take the BMW in
for an oil change and stop by the
Farmer’s Market– this damn wedding
is so inconvenient. I had things I
needed to get done today.

CARTER
C’mon Hon, it’ll be fine to relax
for once. You might get along
better with the other Carmens if
you hang with them outside the
office. Have a few drinks, laugh a
little, bullshit– you’ll be one of
the crew in no time.

CARMEN C.
I’m not really one for “bullshit”.
Besides, I just…don’t really have
much in common with them. Other
than a name.

(Yelling)
Aaron…Sadie– 5 minutes and we’re
leaving. I want TVs, computers, and
IPODs off and everything put away.

CARTER
Three women, all named Carmen. That
must make for some confusion around
the office. Must give everyone some
comic relief when things are
stressful.

CARMEN C.
Wait till you meet ‘em. The names
are the least of my problems. Too
bad I don’t have a sense of humor,
the comedy of it all is lost on me.

CARTER
You said they’re Latin like you.
That’s something.
Carmen makes a sour face.
I’m tellin’ you, take this chance
to get to know ‘em a little. They
can’t be that bad. Work will be run
a helluv a lot smoother if you get
along with the other girls in the
office. Trust me.

CARMEN C.
I don’t know.
(Coming around a little)
But I guess, it might not be so bad
to have a few allies at the office.
Just wish I had more in common with
them. I have a feeling this
reception is not going to be our
scene. I hope you ate a little
something like I told you to. You
might not like the food.

EXT. RESTAURANT PATIO. LATER THAT DAY.
An open air patio with a stage at one end, double class doors
at the opposite end, and a large stone fountain flowing in
the center. Tables fill the long patio, and a mariachi band
plays. Seated at one table is Carmen Collins, her husband;
and two children SADIE and AARON. Sadie is skinny, eleven
years old, with shoulder length brown hair and light eyes.
Aaron is a stocky eight year boy with an inquisitive nature,
glasses and dark blonde hair. They look as if they stepped
out of a J. Crew ad. At the bridal family table is seated
Carmen Medina and her twin daughters. Our over-sexed Carmen
Ayala is no where to be found. The Mariachis have already
begun to play, so everyone is milling about. Some are at the
buffet table set up along one side of the patio;others are at
the bar. A massive amount of steaming Latin cuisine ranging
from arroz con pollo, to tamales, to plantanos, to a desert
cake of Tres Leches and more. Guests are beginning to mix and
mingle. We open on Carmen M. chatting with her daughter.

CARMEN M.
You made me cry, your toast to your
sister, so beautiful. You have such
a way with words.

MARINA
(Jokingly)
Making you cry, not so hard.
Actually, I expected you to be
falling apart by now.

CARMEN M.
Ay, Marina. Is it such a crime to
love your daughters? You two are
the most important things in my
life. Now that your father has left
with that Puta, my whole life is
only for you two. You better
believe I’ll be a Llorona the day
you get married, too.

MARINA
Just don’t expect me to be into the
whole traditional, church thing. If
I do get married, it’ll be barefoot
on the beach or in the middle of
the forest…

CARMEN M.
If you get married! Don’t say such
crazy things. You want to give your
mother a heart attack? Of course
you’ll get married one day. You do
want kids.
(Marina rolls her eyes, but changes the subject)

MARINA
The food is delicious, Mami. My
Tias and Abuela hooked it up. I’m
going to get more arroz con pollo
and some cake. I love Abuela’s
Dulce de Tres Leches. Want
anything?

CARMEN M.
No, Hija. I’m fine. Gracias.
Scans the room nervously
But have you seen Carmen Ayala?
I’ve said “hello” to almost
everyone but her. She was at the
church…

MARINA
No se. Last time I saw her was at
the bar, flirting with the
bartender. She was drinking
Hennessey. Yuk.
Nods towards the bar set up on the opposite wall as the
buffet table.

CARMEN M.
Uh-oh. That girl is too much. No
tiene pena.

MARINA
She’s off the hook, alright. Last
time I saw her she was smoking a
blunt and drinking a 40 outside of
that Salsa and Reggae club I go to.

CARMEN M.
Ay, Mari, no fumaste eso?

MARINA
No, I didn’t smoke any weed. I don’t need any help getting hungry or sleepy.  From
the smell, I’d say it was the good
stuff, though.
(Carmen M. is relieved. She smiles and rubs her daughter’s
back)

Up walks JULENE MARSHALL: a young, college co-ed with salt-ofthe-
earth Midwest values and no experience with diverse
cultures and world views. Like countless before her, she has
come to L.A. with high hopes and caviar dreams of fame in the
movies.

JULENE MARSHALL
Hey guys. Beautiful ceremony. The
food looks so good, but I can’t eat
a thing cuz I’m taking photos for
my portfolio tomorrow. I wanna have
my 8×10’s in time for the audition
next week.

CARMEN M.
That tampon commercial you got a
call for?

JULENE MARSHALL
It’s a herpes commercial.
(Marina stifles a laugh, but Julene picks up on it)
It’s for a good cause. It
encourages herpes sufferers to get
treatment.

MARINA
Good luck with that.
(Her mother kicks her under the table)

CARMEN M.
I’m so glad you could make it. When
I heard you lived your whole life
and never been to a Mexican
wedding, I thought, this can’t be. But don’t worry…you’re in Los Angeles now.

MARINA
Yeah, Jules. Honored to be your
first. Guess we popped your…
(Her mother pinches her this time, and Marina doesn’t finish
her thought)

PAN TO
A table where Carmen C. and husband Carter are seated. Both
children are gone, playing with the other kids.

CARMEN C.
I have to say “hello” to the
Carmens and we can get going.

CARTER
Digging into a plate heaped full with food.
I don’t see why you thought I’d
feel outta place. I’m Irish,
remember? We party hard, get loud,
and drink till there’s no liquor
left. Sound like any culture you
know? And we’re Catholic like you
guys. Man, this food is the bomb!

CARMEN C.
Yeah, you’re on seconds and going
strong.

CARTER
Loosen up. Have another glass of
wine. Better yet– have a martini,
so I can drag you on the dance
floor.

CARMEN C.
I don’t like this music. But I’m
glad the kids are having fun.

CARTER
Everyone’s having fun. It’s a
helluv a party. I’m surprised
you’re not having fun. You’re a
Latina, didn’t you grow up with
this music?

CARMEN C.
I’m Cuban. This is Mexican music. I
grew up listening to salsa and
merengue.

CARTER
Well, I never hear you play any of
that at home either. And why don’t
you ever cook like this for us?

CARMEN C.
Oh yeah, since I have so much time
to cook being a working mother with
two kids, a household to run and a
husband to take care of.

CARTER
Fine. But there’s plenty of food
here. Why don’t you eat?

CARMEN C.
I ate. But everything’s loaded with
carbs, and lots of cheese. You know
I’m cutting carbs and limiting my
dairy right now.

CARTER
Then, for God’s sake, Carm, have
another drink at least. Look at
them, they love the music.
We see Sadie and Aaron dancing around and laughing with some
of the other kids their age.

CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT INTERIOR. SAME NIGHT.
Carmen A. and a suave Latin bartender in server’s tux have
slipped into a small banquet room inside the restaurant. The
room is dark and silent, obviously not part of the wedding
reception.

CARMEN A.
I have the green, you got some
papers?

BARTENDER
No, but I do got a pipe. I’m like a
boy scout, Mama, I’m always
prepared.
(Pulling out a small, wooden pipe from his pocket)
And some fire…
(Materializes a lighter from the other pocket)

CARMEN A.
You mean you don’t have to rub two
sticks together?

BARTENDER
Don’t worry, Sweetheart. There’s
time for a lil’ rubbing too.

CARMEN A.
So, you think you can light my
fire?

BARTENDER

Mami, it’ll be like “Backdraft” up
in here.

CUT TO:
Carmen M. and daughter Marina are seated. Marina is eating a
slice of Tres Leches cake and drinking a glass of champagne,
despite being under the legal age. As with most Mexican
celebrations, exceptions are made on special family occasions
and children 18 and older are allowed to drink. This is
because in Mexico, the legal drinking age is 18.

CARMEN M.
I’ve never seen her so loose. She
usually has a look on her face like
she was sucking on a lemon.
Nods to Carmen C., who, now that a reggae band is playing, is
swinging her hips “Dirty Dancing” style. Having taken her
husband’s advice to have a martini, Carmen C. is feeling the
rhythm and letting go of her usual reserved, polite nature.
Carmen C. puts the empty martini glass on a nearby table and
proceeds to fondle her husband as they dance. He is having a

great time.
You know, I’m worried about the
other Carmen. Adonde Sea? I know
how she likes to drink, so I told
her I’d give her a ride.
(Just then Carmen C. spots Carmen M. and runs over to her
excitedly)

CARMEN C.
(Hugging Carmen M.)
Congratulations, Comadre! You must
be so proud! Your Christina makes a
beautiful bride. And this one
(Nodding to Marina)
So gorgeous, tambien.
Where’s that traviesa, Carmen? I
haven’t seen her all night.

CARMEN M.
No doubt up to no good.
Aaron comes up to his mother and taps her on the arm.

AARON
Mom, something smells really funny
over there.
(Points to the doors that lead to the banquet room where
Carmen A. and her loverboy bartender escaped to.
Both Carmens exchange a knowing look)

CARMEN M.
(Sweetly to Carmen C’s
son)
It’s okay Mijo, we’ll check it out.
Carmen M. grabs Carmen A. and they hurry to the rescue of the
missing Carmen.

CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT INTERIOR. SAME NIGHT.
The two Carmens burst through the doors to find Carmen A.,
and a still on-duty bartender, kissing and groping through a
cloud of sweet smelling smoke.

CARMEN M.
(To the bartender)
Get the hell out of here before I
have you fired. Baya!

CARMEN A.
Hey ladies. Helluv a party, huh?

CARMEN C.
What are you trying to do, get
arrested on your friend’s wedding
day?

CARMEN A.
Ain’t nobody getting arrested. I
was smoking it, not selling.

CARMEN C.
C’mon Loca, let’s go grub. I
haven’t had plantanos con crema y
frijoles in forever. My mom used to
make ‘em all the time. It’s been
too long.

The three Carmens, newly bonded, head back to the party hand
in hand.
FADE TO BLACK